Article #5 in the ESL Student Life Stories Project, by Eileen from Korea, age 20.
Romano's hand reached out...
“Don’t do that!” I screamed.
His hand was on my arm, squeezing and rubbing it. He replied to me, “Your arms are so soft, I want to touch them!”
His name was Romano and he was from Italy. I met him the third week after I came to the USA from my home country of Korea, at an English center excursion to Six Flags. In the first days of our friendship, Romano didn’t express anything lustful. However, the closer we became, the more Romano revealed: he had a sexual maniac personality!
In Korea, people are usually conservative about sexual things. But in Italy, they are not! America threw me and Romano together in the same classroom.
Romano loves to joke about our bodies, especially particular parts. He tells me, “Acting like this is common in Italy! All Italian men are same!” However, is it really possible that all men in his country are so extreme? Romano is the most over-the-top person that I have ever met.
When I first experienced Romano’s sexual behavior, I was so embarrassed and ashamed. I didn’t want to face my friend again. His actions felt unacceptable, because in Korea, nobody would ever imagine acting like that. If I were in Korea, Romano and I could never be friends. Korean people, especially Korean women, don’t accept sexual things, unless they are really intimate with the other person. For instance, Romano could even be arrested by a woman in Korea for his behavior, if she wanted him to be! If I had met my Italian friend in my home country, I might have punched him.
Italian + Korean + America = Culture shock!
What’s funny is that I didn’t really experience culture shock in the U.S. until I met Romano. Because of the astounding experience I’ve had with him, however, I’m realizing: there are lots of contrasting cultures between countries! My strange friendship has made me realize we should be open to each others’ cultures and emotions, because there is a lot we won’t know if we just stick to ourselves.
The happenings with Romano were very serious at that time, but now I laugh. My friend still jokes with me constantly, but now I can receive it and give it back to him!
“You should sleep with me before you come back to Korea,” Romano still says with a grin (although he uses more detailed descriptions).
Instead of slapping him, now I just smile and say, “No, you are not good enough for me.”
Then we laugh together, and that is all. Instead of running away from each other because our cultures are so different, we’ve created a wonderful friendship.
Lillie’s Note: Eileen’s article is sooo interesting! Please leave a comment, stating your geographical location.
Aww. This is such a great story on how friendships form!
I really liked how you said you would’ve punched him in Korea so did you ever punch him in the US? Oh, by the way I’m from Boston, MA.
That is so funny and cute at the same time. In my opinion, I thought that Romano has a big ego from what I read. I wish that I could go to Italy to visit its landscape and befriend one of those cocky men.
That seems so cute, ….. to me! It just makes me want to say “AWWWWWWWWW!!!!! ^_^”.
I think it was weird and disturbing how the man was acting, I would never do this to a female.
P.S This was on my birthday!!!
I love your relationship with your friend, it’s so adorable! I love how in this article it shows how two different cultures clash, but in the end everyone can get along. (:
I thought your reaction to your friend grabbing your arm for the first time was hilarious– I would have totally done the same thing! I’m glad you two are friends now and have allowed your culture compliment each other by becomg friends.
I can really relate to this. The Asian culture is conservative about sexuality. I’ve noticed in America people are judgmental about interracial couples.
“You should sleep with me before you come back to Korea,” Romano still says with a grin (although he uses more detailed descriptions). That made me laugh.
I’m surprised that you two were only friends. It seems like you two could have been a couple in the making
Well it’s kind of hard to be friends with someone who takes sexual comments to the limit like that. I got to say that’s something that would have been kind of impossible for me.
I think this story made me understand that not everyone is the same and people from different racial backgrounds don’t all have the same behavior and they are different in many ways. In this story I could understand how Eileen feels, being an immigrant in the United States you don’t really know anyone and your suprised how everything is so different in America. My parents were immigrants once and they were shocked at how people acted so differently here whether it was good or bad. If I were Eileen I wouldn’t be sure if I would still be friends with Romano because his behavior is very creepy and I wouldn’t really want to be in that environment. It’s Eileen’s decision though so I’m happy that she and him are friends but I would have second thoughts about his behavior and what he said he wanted to do before she left to Korea. Thanks for posting this article I really enjoyed reading it:D.
When Romano says all Italian men act sexually, I think that’s incorrect to say because your nationality doesn’t determine your behavior. Your upbringings and personal insights determine this. But I also found it interesting how he said that was apart of their culture because i wasn’t aware of that although I have some Italian friends. I also wonder if he was serious when he says, “You should sleep with me before you come back to Korea.” I thought your response was funny, but I also wonder if he was offended. I really enjoyed your story thanks for sharing. = )
This is very interesting. I am kind of surprised that you two became even closer friends
I enjoyed reading your story!! I have no Italian friends, so your story is very interesting!
In America there are various cultures. Some people came from Asia, some from South America, some from Eastern Europe…so I would like to understand and accept culture from other countries.
nice article. eileen i am from india i think there are many similarities between indian and korean culture .
its nice that u accepted your friend and his culture but as a friend he should have shown some respect for ur culture…………
Nice history.
I enjoy that part where it say “No, you are not good enough for me.”…True, each person has their own behavior whether it’s bad or good..but sometimes we just have to adapt to it..
Eileen, I could relate to this piece so much — I studied abroad in Florence, and whenever you walked through a club by yourself, you’d be shaking your arms constantly, because EVERY man would grab you as you walked by! Always watch out for Italian men. ALWAYS!
yeah!! absolutely!!!
i’m glad to see the person who had same experience
That’s a very interesting and well written story. It’s a great portrayal of the social and cultural differences between countries…and between people. I know plenty of people who are taken back by the kind of behavior described here and others who wouldn’t think twice about it.
I really liked the descriptions and the character development throughout the article.
Thanks for sharing.
I really enjoyed this article. I worked in Korea for a year and find it really interesting to read about how well Eileen reacted and adapted to her new surroundings and the cultures of the people she has met. Well done Eileen!
thank you
I applaud Eileen’s tolerance towards Romano but there is really no need to. She is in America not Italy. In this article, Eileen only spoke of her accepting him, but nothing was mentioned about him accepting her. If his friendship is worth anything, he should be more cultural sensitive.
Therefore, she punching him is long over due.
Leng, I was just waiting for someone to give this response! I agree, to a certain extent, though I also see Eileen’s point of view. Thanks for chiming in!
This was my response as well. I think your friend needs to be more respectful of your culture. Friendship is a two way street. Some cultures show their arrogance by thinking that it is only the others that should adapt to them.
Kwabla (Connecticut, USA)
i like this
This was an excellent story. It was flowed well from point to point. It was serious and funny. I learned somethings I hadn’t known about the Korean culture (but had suspected). The story shows a lot of maturity and tolerance on Eileen’s part. And she’s fortunate to realize what she’s gained from being open to other cultures (without necessary losing touch with her own). I greatly enjoyed it!
thanks for enjoying it
Culture is the way particular people behave a particular way. Is part of our society and a country without a culture is like a Man without a soul.we need to be open to people we meet so as to lean their way of doing things,and in it to broaden our knowledge. This is an interesting story, we should not be stereotype, but be open to other people so other cultures too.
Seth, Ghana
Excellent comments so far. As a supplementary goodie, after reading Eileen’s article in class, we just examined the famous photo of Italian men in the street leering at a woman walking past: http://www.hackelbury.co.uk/images/artists/icons/6.orkin_bg.jpg . Fascinating!
I enjoyed reading this story and your explanationt about two completly different cultures. Your story is well thought out and flowed smoothly.
“I realized: for him, acting like this is very common, and so I finally accepted it. Once I accepted Romano for who he is, we became even closer friends. If I hadn’t adapted, our friendship would have died.” This particular passage from the story hits home for me. I have a friend who acts “weird” and I always think why he does that, but you just stated that you accepted him for who he is and your frindship became stronger. This is a very important lesson to remeber for me and others, because we are all different and we should accept each other as we are especialy in America, becasue there are so many different cultures.
thanks yeah, it was really difficult to understand other cultures at first, especially it’s totally different.
but after passing through, it can be much better
I like your story. Italian men tend to be very aggressive about wanting a lover. American men aren’t that bad, but we are still not as conservative as Koreans and other Asians.
I think you should still punch him.
yeah kkk actually thesedays i am punching him for fun