One of our lovely engagement photos by Krista Photography.
“What kind of wedding do you think you’ll have if you ever get married?” my roommate Meg asked me our Sophomore year in college.
“Easy,” I declared. “I’ll have a potluck in a field and wear a rainbow colored dress I make myself.”
Well, it’s a decade after that conversation, I’m getting married in five days, and my rustic wedding prediction was totally wrong.
Instead, Colin and I are going FULL OUT into Wedding World.
For our upcoming nuptials, our venue is venerable, our cake is tiered, and our menu is five-star. My dress is such a luscious white confection that we’re being featured on a TLC reality TV wedding show called “I Found the Gown.” But rather than being upset with all this tradition, I’m actually delighted.
Reenacting our dramatic double wedding proposal in Boston’s Public Garden for Krista.
Huh?! How the heck did this anti-establishment hippie gal shift so radically from what she thought her wedding would be?
Simple: I love to travel, and Wedding World is one of the most fascinating foreign lands you can visit. Once you start to drive into it, you are so shocked by what you see that you can’t help but drive a little further.
By the willows in the Boston Public Garden.
“Oh, THAT is what they were all talking about,” you murmur, realizing the facts behind what countless former brides have tried to explain to you.
“Oh, REALLY?!” you gasp as you glimpse a historic custom up close. “I’ve always wondered what that feels like!” (And by “that”, you can insert any number of cultural experiences from wearing a 15-pound dress to organizing 100 wedding invitations.)
Here are other elements of Wedding World that are tightly analogous to foreign travel.
Money: As in a distant country, currency in Wedding World differs deeply from our normal world. Cake in everyday life is a few dollars. Cake in Wedding World is hundreds. In Wedding World, flowers (innocent, sweet flowers) break the bank, and a “cheap” dress costs more than a cross-country plane ticket.
The reality TV show I’m being featured on focuses on “The Thrifty Bride” but Wedding World “Thrifty” is normal world “Insane.”
A similar but opposite effect occurred in 2009 during my year of travel. After a few weeks of living in Southeast Asia where gorgeous beach-side hotel rooms cost $10, I got so used to those prices that a $15 a night hotel room seemed like a shocking splurge. Both travel and wedding planning shift your understanding of money!
We’ve been working out passionately in anticipation of our stunning wedding outfits!
Customs: When you’re traveling, each country has “the way things are done” which you usually end up doing to be polite, and because everyone else is doing it. The gravitational pull of these traditions means it takes far more energy to resist than to go along with them. For example, in Ghana, I began eating with my hands, because that’s the polite way to ingest your food there.
It was fun to have a professional photo shoot!
Well, in Wedding World, there are more “the way things are done”-s than exist in a small continent.
Sure, in college I wanted a rainbow wedding dress, but in the reality of Wedding World, the sluuuurp of tradition towards poofy white goodness was so strong (and also so warm and comforting) that I slid easily down that path.
Sure, in college I dreamed of a Potluck Wedding, but there are actually reasons why “that’s not the way things are done.” In the words of a friend to whom I tried to sell the idea: “You expect me to travel across the country, buy a bridesmaid dress, pay for my hotel room… and then COOK for you? You must be crazy.”
You gotta respect tradition when you travel. It’s welcoming and cosy, and evolved over time for reasons.
Usually we don’t have a quality photographer snapping 1,000 photos, but in Wedding World we do!
Becoming a celebrity. When I traveled to China with a group of Boston teens, the students got a HUGE kick out of how the local folks wanted to take photos with them because they didn’t look traditionally Chinese. One student with blond hair said she never felt so famous as she did in China! Likewise, Wedding World is seductive because you become the center of attention. You get to do elaborate makeup trials and foot massages because all eyes will be on you. Crazy!
Photographed in our natural habitat, like dorky bears.
If you’re going to do it, you’re going to DO it. When people travel, they are more likely to splurge or do things differently. “Well,” my brother and I said in 2010, “it’s not every day that we’re in Portugal, so it’s worth it to pay for a day tour to the castles of Sintra.” Similarly, I keep hearing, “Hopefully you only get married once, so you might as well pay for this nice thing!”
Culture Clash. Travel is fabulous, and it’s great to see traditions that are different from yours, but there always comes an instance where you refuse to let go of your native way of doing things. In Spain, I finally rebelled against eating dinner so &*$@# late because it made no sense to my soul (aka, stomach). In Wedding World, I refuse to change my last name after marriage.
Unexpected joy and the fulfillment of wants you didn’t know you had. Who knew I had a deep desire to pat a tiger until I had the opportunity during travel through the Tiger Temple in Thailand? And who knew I wanted to have a two-level “Deep Chocolate Framboise” wedding cake decorated with white icing in a lattice covered with fruits and flowers to look like a summer basket? Turns out I do.
Wedding World is the craziest place we’ve traveled. But it’s fun!
Celebration of humanity. When we set aside all the pomp and madness, what is at the core of both travel and Wedding World is love of our human family.
For our wedding, we are crossing borders of biology and in-laws, collaborating to plan a 100-person event, and embracing centuries of tradition about how two people unite. In this undertaking, we are all traveling to a profound new level of human connectedness.
As crazy as this journey through Wedding World has been, I’ve loved every delirious moment!
Ha ha. Weddings ARE a world of their own!
Ms. Marshall these photos came out wonderful ! Wish both of you the best of Luck ! Amazing change who would of thought ? Miss you !
-Lissa
Thanks, Lissa!
Ms. Marshall, I am so happy for you! I find the pictures very cute, and I hope you can live a happy ever after with Colin.
Thanks! Wedding photos will be up soon!
Mrs. Marshall!
It’s so nice that you guys are getting married, or are married!
Thanks so much Christine! I will start to post wedding photos soon!
Congrats on your wedding and lovely honeymoon! Cannot wait to read about it!
Looking at this travel wedding planning makes me excited. I wanna get married now! But first need to find a nice unsuspecting girl to propose to after the first date…. :p
Haha! Love it!
Awww!!! You are so lucky to have such a great guy for a husband and a great wedding. You guys are so cute and it makes me really jealous.
Ms. Marshall these are very nice pictures. Can’t believe you’re married! When you get back we have to have lunch to update each other on tons of stuff.
~Stace~
Thanks, and absolutely!
Great pictures, Lilly! Congratulations.
oops! Lillie. I can spell. Seriously.
Thanks Adame
Best of luck in it all… this reminds me of someone else I know that I won’t name lol. Nice work on the Macbooks! You’ve got my support:p
Lillie,
I’ve heard about you from your parents for years. I organize the trip into Hiking World that your parents go on every summer and it’s always fun to trade stories of our children. And now I have the pleasure of reading this great piece! Best wishes for a wonderful trip to Wedding World, and the even better time afterwards in Married World!
Cheers,
Deborah Lewis
Thanks so much for your lovely message!
Wonderful article and absolutely beautiful pictures! Congratulations on your wedding tomorrow, Ms. Marshall! Best wishes!
Thank you, Victoria!
You two look so great together. Wonderful pictures. I love your look. Congratulations!!!!!
Thanks so much!
For those who haven’t read our romantic and dramatic engagement story, here it is: http://www.aroundtheworldl.com/2011/11/13/we-are-engaged-or-how-travel-can-find-and-build-love/ !
Lillie,
It has been a pleasure being part of your Wedding World.
I wish you and Colin everything imaginable! I cant wait to read the After Wedding World post
Love to you both!
Christine
Yay!!! Thanks!
I love your writing! So real and refreshing. I’m so happy for the both of you and am sure you’ll have lots to update from the wedding adventure! Congratulations Lillie and Colin!!!
Thanks, Julie!
Aww.. best of luck on it all! Hope it’s everything you want it to be and more!
There is no one else on Earth with whom I would rather venture into this strange and wonderful land. Thank you for being my trusty travelling companion into Wedding World, and I can’t wait to explore the wonders of Marriage Land together.
So excited for your big day!
Wedding World: The one place everyone says they won’t go, but rushes off to once the right chance comes.
The pictures look great, glad you are having so much fun with the process!
Wise man
30 years ago my wedding dress cost $35 and our reception food was sandwiches in my parents’ back yard, but we did have a 3 tiered hazelnut wedding cake. My son is getting married next May. They’re having a wedding with all the bells and whistles. It is a seriously “foreign” world to me and kind of scary. I don’t want to mess up being the mother of the groom. My hope for them is that their marriage will be the comfort ours has been. Best wishes for your big day!
Thanks so much for your kind wishes and for sharing your experience! Hmm– Do you think the “slurrrrp” pull to go full out on a wedding has gotten stronger recently?