How to Use a Pineapple Corer: a Funny Dramatization

We interrupt your regularly-scheduled travel blog to bring you an extremely important update on pineapple-eating technology: how to use a pineapple corer, dramatically demonstrated to me for the first time.

“You HAVE to see this,” declared my cousin Eric the moment I entered his Manhattan apartment on my jaunt to New York last week.

“What is it??” I gasped in anticipation, expecting something as miraculous as a pet unicorn, given my cousin’s worshipful tone.

Eric reached into a kitchen drawer and withdrew… a gleaming silver rod with a curved blade at the bottom. “Ta da!” he sang.

“Wha?” said I.

“Ta da!” he belted out again, this time holding aloft a ripe pineapple.

“Huh?” I murmured, mystified.

Eric raised a knife and slashed off the head of the pineapple.

“Oh my,” I gasped.

Without a pause, my cousin then stabbed the circular end of the mystery tool into the brains of the fruit.

“Eeek!” I peeped.

“Twist! Twist! Twist!” went the tube as Eric’s wrist pushed it into the juicy heart of the innocent pineapple until it hit rock bottom: the cutting board.

Then all of a sudden, my dear cousin looked up with a gleam in his eye.

“Check this out,” he growled, and suddenly began to pull upward.

Heavens to Betsy! The entire core of the pineapple began to slide up and out of its rough shell like an inquisitive turtle with an ungodly fat neck!

And then it was utterly freed. The entire center of the pineapple sat atop the juicy round blade: naked, unleashed, and raw.

That silver thing was almost indecent in its ruthless technological efficiency.

But the show had not concluded!

Look carefully at the photo to the left and examine the metal blade at the bottom of the rod. Given the instrument’s shape, can you visualize the magic that occurred as it slid through the pineapple flesh?

This borders on a high school mathematical concepts test question.

Can you predict what happened when Eric screwed off the blade and let the pineapple relax into its new formation?

Check out the photo to the left to reveal the answer, and imagine my thrilled face as I realized: the pineapple flesh was now carved in a perfect spiral!!

After I finished shrieking in delight, Eric deftly yanked out the tube and sliced a knife merely twice through the golden fruit.

Instantly, a hundred perfectly bite-sized pineapple chunks tumbled upon the waiting plate… and then straight into our hands and hungry mouths! He had officially won at demonstrating how to use a pineapple corer.

Did I mention how much I adore my cousin?