Riddle me this: Let’s say you are a budget traveler. Which is the best option to get from Hanoi, Vietnam, to Vientiane, Laos… while still maintaining your sanity?
a) $150 for a one hour flight
b) $40 for a 24 hour sleeper bus
c) $14 for a “20 hour” sitting bus ride which is widely reported to actually take 36 hours.
Ponder… weigh those options…
..And then shake your head in dismay when you hear that I chose the final, most masochistic option. Listen: a month of Vietnam is hardcore enough on the ego– I figured I’d wrap it up with one final, glorious spurt of punishment.
In truth, the endless bus ended up just fine, thanks to a scrunched but stuporific sleep, continued bus hilarity, and the most zany cast of characters possible.
Here are some highlights:
– The 41-year-old British firecracker who wore the sexiest silk, belly-baring outfit I have ever seen a 41-year-old rock, and who spent the whole trip snuggling with her 24-year-old New Zealander love and getting into screaming fights with the Vietnamese men on the bus who had trouble taking her seriously when she said “Stop the bus because I need to go to the toilet NOW!”
– The fact that the bus had no toilet on board, paired with the fact that we stopped a bladder-bursting once every five hours. The majority of these “bathroom” breaks were us screeching to a halt by the side of the road for men to whip out their… you know, and for the women to scamper to create a little “Ladies Room” behind a particularly bushy bush and swap toilet paper stashes.
– The most amazing bevy of five platinum blond Swedish women (pictured, left, hair glinting over the blue seats) who talked all night with their “Uu’s” and “Aa’s” and were so utterly prepared for the journey that I couldn’t help but gape as they ate their full meal of wrapped grains and fruits, then brushed their teeth by the side of the road with their mini water bottles and travel tooth kits.
– The unbelievable contortions we got ourselves into over the 26 hour journey in order to sleep. Please note that giant sacks of rice and those ubiquitous plastic squat stools were squished in the aisles against us. You like the photos of the feet on the windows?
– The fact that a visa into Laos costs $25 to $35 for every nationality, except for Canadians who, inexplicably, have to pay $42! Hahaha! My bus buddy, a Canadian named Vijay, sniffled, “We’re a peaceful people! What did we ever do to deserve this?”
– How, the moment we crossed over into Laos, the crackling Vietnamese tension in the air dissipated, and even the palm trees bushed out and relaxed. Limestone mountains rose up, cows mooed, and the sun shone over yellow-green rice fields.
So, after three months of hearing how great little Laos is, and after re-starting my beloved (ha!) anti-malaria pill regimen, I am finally in Laos! I’ve only spent a few hours in the capital city, Vientiane, but I can affirm that it is every bit as lovely, calm, friendly, DELICIOUS, and inexpensive as everyone says. I can’t wait to eat my giant $2 breakfast in front of the Mekong river tomorrow morning! Or rather– brunch, because now that I can fully recline, I’m-a-gonna sleep ’til noon!
Last Updated on
Myllena F. says
Hi Ms. Marshall! I would never be able to survive a 30-hour bus trip and I admire you for going through that. If I were you, I would’ve paid 150 dollars for a one hour flight. I understand that $150 might be a lot of money but since the things in Laos aren’t that expensive, I would prefer a one hour flight.
Sleither V. says
I would have passed out because that’s almost 2 days on a bus and really little space. Also, the bus had no bathroom like you said that’s too much for me.
Aaron L. says
WOW! That sounds so frustrating sitting in a bus for a long time without using the restroom. If I was in that situation I would just pay 150 U.S dollars and go on a one hour ride. That was probably a very miserable ride,
Zuzu A. says
Hi Mrs. Marshall! I think it’s so crazy how you can’t even go to a bathroom on a nearly 2 day bus. I was looking at the choices and it was insane that someone would have to spend $150 on a one hour flight! However, it sounds like everyone would be in better conditions, because they probably wouldn’t have to “go” as often. Sounds like a terrible ride but it’s worth it!
Lillie says
It was worth it to get to lovely Laos!
Victoria says
I’m planning to do the same trip. How were the roads? Did you have to go through winding roads on mountains?
Or was it an overall, “smooth” ride?
Lillie says
Good question, Victoria! I don’t remember, alas, but that region in general has a lot of mountains and winding roads. Good luck and enjoy!
Heather says
LOL. I have done enough of those epic bus trips to know that now I would most definitely pay for the flight! Those Swedish women seemed to know what they were in for.
Vanessa says
Amazing writing – I felt like I was there every step of the way!
Lillie says
Woo hoo! But with more comfortable bathrooms. :)
Adam Pervez says
I love your play-by-play and cast of characters. On my journey the guy next to me, who slept in the aisle since the bus operators cram as many people as possible into the bus, had the nastiest, narliest nails I’ve ever seen.
Lillie says
Hah!!! Awesome!
Herbert Morales says
I wouldn’t be able to survive 30 hours in a bus with no bathroom. I barely can do 8 hours in a bus or car. The worse part is that it is really hard to sleep on a bus.
Lucy Donovan says
I would really hate being on a bus for 20-36 hours, but with no toilet and the constant need to stop for potty breaks must have been torture.
Elizabeth D. says
I would not want to be on that bus with no bathroom for 20 hours! Next time, I will make sure to pack lots of toilet paper and remember not to drink anything.
Kenneth Holman says
I went on a train ride that was three hours long and thought that was tough. I would go crazy just a few hours in!
Abby Murphy says
I don’t think I could be on a bus that long. It would drive me crazy!
Traveling Ted says
I think if I had the money I would choose the $150.00, but when you are on the go sometimes that is not an option. The great part about choice # 3 is it makes for a great blog post. I love the way you portrayed the cast of characters. You wouldn’t find that lot on a plane.
Lillie says
Thanks, Ted!
Abbie Yan says
Well, I think I would actually die if I were in the bus. With no bathroom I would burst out. Also paying to ride this bus can be expensive to me but without bathroom no way!!! I am not going in there until 30 hours later. The bus look similar to buses in USA but there is people sleeping in the bus. I would puke when like people stick their bare foot out on to the window while sleeping but would it make the bus smell sticky later?
Noelia says
I would never go on a bus for that long.That’s a really smart idea though saving up money but I’ll take my chances. ^.^
Christine Yu says
If I were on this bus… I would attack that bus driver like every 5 minutes. Even though I don’t have bladder problems, it would feel so uncomfortable to not use the bathroom for about 1 and a half days, STRAIGHT. That would suck. To see someone use the bathroom in the bushes is VERY disturbing. While I am writing this, I just lost my appetite for dinner.
Genesis Lumahan says
Oh the horror of peeing near a bush. It actually looks somewhat comfy in the bus. But, you’re lucky that you saw the beautiful views outside. I love the way you described the passengers, I felt like I was actually there!
CanCan says
Maybe because there is no Canadian Embassy in Laos.
Malaysia S. says
That’s a little racist against the Canadians. :)
Rachel Yee says
I would not be patient enough for that LONG bus ride, even to New York City from Boston feels like forever. You must have had a lot of fun with no bathroom for so long.
st says
Hey! I’ve been there and made option C too! It was such a long journey but truly memorable. I also took the hard seat train from Hanoi to Lao Cai (Sapa)! Hardcore!
Imported Blogger Comments says
Adventurous Kate said…
Hi, Lillie!
I’m so glad I found this blog — thanks for following me on Twitter (@adventurouskate). I’m a Bostonian as well and I hope to go on a RTW a few years from now. Though I’ve been planning this trip for a long time, I had been wondering how I would get from Hanoi to Laos…this is perfect!
October 30, 2009 3:38 PM
Lillie M. said…
Thanks so very much for your message, Kate. Boston pride!
I hope you find other useful tidbits here, and the main advice I can give about a RTW trip is that it is so much easier and cheaper than you think (plenty of articles here on this), so perhaps you can set of sooner than a few years :)
Thanks again for writing, and I appreciate any help you can give in spreading the word about this site!
– Lillie
October 30, 2009 3:44 PM
Sara A Broers said…
Loved this- great post!
October 30, 2009 4:38 PM
Luddy Sr. said…
Uuuumm choice B looks pretty tempting, but it’s hard to meet a good cast of characters that way.
December 19, 2009 5:01 AM