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In Greece, Can I Buy Man-Cave Decor for a Vegetarian?

How did this scene from a store in Greece happen? Read on.

How did this scene from a store in Greece happen? Read on.

If you’re totally baffled by the title of this article, just read on.

Research suggests that in marriage, men need a room of their own to do Man Things. This sanctuary is often referred to by the term: “Man-Cave.” A Man-Cave is the sanctuary in a shared home in which a man can be a MAN, and the lady of the house stays out.

In our house, my fiancé has a Man-Cave, and we both enjoy its presence greatly. When Colin needs some alone time (as all humans do), he retreats to his manly womb. When I have lady friends over and we want to gossip and giggle, I politely say: “Um, can you go in the Man-Cave, fiancé?” rendering the rest of the house a Woman Zone, and keeping us all happy.

Now, decor is very important in a Man-Cave. Every element must exude testosterone. When we were moving in and sorting the books on the shelves, I asked, “Which books should go where?” and Colin instructed: “All the MANLY books go in the Man-Cave!” And they did.

The eager store owner in Arachova, Greece, showing his furs.

The eager store owner in Arachova, Greece, showing his furs.

Unfortunately, it has come to our attention recently that the Man-Cave needs more decor. “My Man-Cave needs more swords!” declared Colin last week before I left him for nine days to travel to Greece, “or at least an animal skin or two!”

And thus I had that line ringing in my ears yesterday in Arachova, Greece, when my teacher tour friends and I entered a FUR AND SKIN store. “Should I buy Colin an animal skin rug as he hinted?” I pondered. But this raised some awfully tough quandaries:

  • Is it permissible for a woman to buy decor for a man-cave? It seems paradoxical to the point of impossibility.
  • Is a dead goat skin worth $100? (Likely not.)
Tiny dead foxes that bite your wall: Just what a Man-Cave needs!

Tiny dead foxes that bite your wall: Just what a Man-Cave needs!

I was paralyzed with perplexity. And then, blessedly, I remembered the words of my former coach, Joel. Whenever a problem arose, Joel would calmly state: “Well, what there is to do is: ___” and fill in a proactive solution. Joel is an action-oriented man, and life improves thanks to his advice.

So I thought of Joel while gazing at the piles and piles of dead animal skins and furs, and filled in the sentence as follows:

“I don’t know whether or not to buy a dead goat part for my vegetarian fiancé’s Man-Cave! So… well, what there is to do is…” (I thought about it heartily for a moment) “…put on the fire-engine red, ridiculously fluffy animal fur vest hanging on that rack, then pose for ridiculous photos with the animal skins!”

And so I did, the glorious result of which you see in the lead photo to this article.

Dearest fiancé, the decor of your Man-Cave shall rest in your hands alone.

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