The Temples of Bangkok, Thailand

I pulled out the map of Bangkok from the Lub-d Hostel lobby and mapped my walking tour objective: To the strip clubs, to the park, to the giant MBK mall, to the river, and to all the glistening golden temples between. Off we go!

Vegetable stir-fry and my daily condensed-milk-sweetened ice coffee (OH I LOVE YOU!) to start, and then in to peek at the infamous Patpong strip of clubs. Yeah… I promptly ran away after being creeped out by the vibe and the giant sign: “Kitty Club!” (and other variations on the cat theme).

Onward! Distances going much faster than I expected. Due to the crushing traffic of Bangkok streets, walking is pretty swift in comparison! And then they began to come, fast and furious: TEMPLES! I dared not enter any as I was wearing shorts and a tank top, and that’s too immodest to mix with the monks, but I drank in the golden spires and multicolored paint work.

I suppose the U.S. is dotted with churches and we don’t think much about it, but there is something breathtakingly shocking about the juxtaposition of smog-choked highways against these towers of Buddhist holiness.

And then to the temple of capitalism: MBK. Everyone has been raving about the 8 glistening floors of BUY BUY BUY! It reminded me of Japan (and in fact, had a bunch of Japanese restaurants and stores) in its sleek modernity and colorful commercial fever. It even had metal detectors!

I ate some rainforest crunch ice cream (Swenson’s — a San Francisco brand wildly popular in Thailand), used the bathroom for 2 Baht, and burst back into the sweltering humidity of outdoor Bangkok.

More temples! Then Chinatown! Then a scuzzy river rivulet that I followed, hoping it would take me to the big river (which at this point I was thirsty to see, being a water-lover), but it only took me to 7-11. I bought some water for my dehydrated self, and a yogurt so I could be in the air conditioning. Bless randomly snacking during random walking.

At this point, a persistent tuk-tuk driver offered me a ride to the river, and I stepped into my first ever tuk-tuk ride!! SO SCARY!!!!!!!!! We wound around and between and through and under ten million traffic-knotted highways, all the while with me clinging to the siding and searching the fluttering map.

“You’re here!” said the driver triumphantly after ten minutes. I read the map and realized we had basically gone in a huge circle and weren’t anywhere near where I wanted to be. “No we’re not,” I disagreed politely, pointing to the desired riverside temple. “Oh, okay okay,” he said, “You want the temple.”

Off we went again! Flashing colors, smoke, exhaust, street-vendors yelling, mo-peds whizzing around us, massive buses hugging us from both sides. “Tuk tuk tuk tuk!” gurgled the motor.

“We’re here!” cried the driver with a delighted flourish, pointing to the golden spires. I read the map again. “Um, no,” I said. At this point, the crestfallen (and clearly very lost) driver took the map and consulted with a friendly sightseeing Thai couple about how the heck to get me where I wanted to go. I snapped a picture

“Oh, we are very very far,” he said dejectedly.

“Just take me anywhere on the river, then,” I said. “You go on boat! You look! You look!” he said, miming a sightseer on a water taxi. “Sure, sure,” I said, bracing myself for the motor to start again.

An hour later, I paid the driver his 50 Baht ($1.50) and emerged to the glorious river!!! Except — oh my. It was brown and choked with thick green weeds. Ah well.

I achieved all my objectives, and I was only a half hour walk back to the awesome hostel. A kiss to the river, a hug to Bangkok sightseeing, a thank you to the heavens for protecting me on my first (and perhaps only?) tuk-tuk ride… and home to the hostel I went.