Mannequin Chests and Rumps Worldwide: Miami, FL Update

Hello. Ahem. Pause ogling that photo over there for just a moment and look over here at these words, please.

The image you see below a real Miami mannequin, which boasts (as you may have noticed) somewhat un-real proportions.

One of a zillion busting-out Miami mannequins.
One of a zillion busting-out Miami mannequins.

What you observe over there is merely one of about forty-thousand Bust-a-licious Mannequins in Miami. These top-heavy plastic ladies are in EVERY South Beach window these days!

You see, at a certain point, mannequin designers in South Beach must have looked around at the street and said: "Oh my... these skinny little twig mannequins do NOT look like the curvaceous babes strolling down Ocean Drive! It's time to add a little more plastic up top. Er, actually, a LOT more."

Or perhaps one too many Miami women with, er, physical enhancements, walked into South Beach stores and screeched "I do not feel represented by those window dolls! Look at that bikini on that skeletal mannequin. How could I possibly know how that would look on ME, given that I have THESE, and that plastic punk does not? I demand to be represented! And my silicone-filled chest does, too!"

I don't even know what to write for this caption. Seriously.
I don't even know what to write for this caption. Seriously. "Chest?"

At this point the store owner must have quaked in his designer boots and gone straight to his iPhone 4 to dial up a company called something like "Ye Olde Large-Chested Mannequin Company."

I mean, really... who are the people who design these dolls? What are their meetings like? Do they start cracking up every three seconds, or do they keep straight faces throughout, and get really stressed out like normal office workers?

If they are married men, do their wives get jealous of the mannequins? Perhaps whisper feverishly at night: "Do you like those artificial plastic wenches better than me? Do you wish I looked like that?"

But this is an educational travel blog, so let's pull it together and snip that flight of imagination right now to move on to cross-cultural comparison... of mannequin chests and butts.

"Flatty" mannequin butts in Vietnam: the anti-Miami body.
"Flatty" mannequin butts in Vietnam: the anti-Miami body.

For those of you who were reading this blog when I was in Vietnam, you may have read my article analyzing the rear ends of Vietnamese mannequins.

The conclusion of that article was: Brazil's mannequin's have "Fatties" (luscious round rears), and those in Vietnam are... "Flatties."

(Click here for the full article on Vietnam mannequin butts.)

I'm back in Boston now, land of conservative, petite mannequins, but I can't help but think back a little wistfully to the ridiculous plastic humans lining Miami's storefronts. I mean, it's already pretty offensive to have all clothes modeled on washboard-tummy-ied, white-(plastic)-skinned, Size 4 dolls... How are the completely over-the-top mannequins of South Beach, Miami that much worse? :)

19 Comments

  1. If you look at Discovery Channel They used to have videos from a show called "How Things are Made". And one episode, about 6 months ago, was, I think on making mannequins!

  2. I wonder if the clothes are made special to fit the mannequins? Mind you, if you look at male mannequins, most are plain and featureless. Only the female ones are well detailed. Is this smart selling to the ladies, or to the men in their life, who imagine the lady love in the dress... and assume she will look like that? One wonders!

  3. See, I guess it never occurred to me before. I guess mannequins are anatomically different depending where on the globe you are.

  4. The mannequins looked like they had plastic surgery. .___. I'm glad Boston doesn't showcase such skin in their shops! Anyways, it's pretty cool to see mannequins fit for the beach.

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  6. I think the mannequins are funny, but realistic at the same time. I think it is really disappointing when you see these kind of "things" when you are out.

  7. I don't understand how that help sells what's really important, the CLOTHES. What about the mannequin makes the clothes more appealing to the buyer? -.-

  8. I think that those plastic mannequins are like barbies but a bigger version. If you compare the mannequins here in Boston and the ones in Miami, the mannequins in Miami are so tan while the ones in Boston are pale. Women in Boston might walk pass them and get jealous because they don't have a tan and the Miami mannequins are. This is so funny.

  9. Wow. So unrealistic, why would they make that? It's funny but not realistic. I wonder how others reacted....

  10. I don't think that it is appropiate to let like children to see those manequins. I don't think there is much to say if the husband chooses the mannequin over his wife. That husband might have problems liking a plastic doll over a living human being, well that is his lost.

  11. My room mate from college and graduate school is a plastic surgeon down there. Methinks he may be to blame!!!

  12. When I was in Cusco a couple years ago, a friend and I were cracking up over the mannequins they had there - not just a bit disproportionate on top, but they all had the bottoms turned around so the butts faced front! Wish I could post a picture to share :)

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